French Life · Hopes & Dreams

I Had A Dream…

… A song to sing. Nope! I’m not talking about the over played Abba song and for once I’m not even talking about singing.

Recently I’ve been reminded about my dream of writing.

The picture I’ve used to illustrate this blog is from my new guilty pleasure, a TV Series called Chesapeake Shores. It’s absolute cheese on a stick. Do not watch it if you’re easily nauseous.
I love it!

Bree, is struggling with writer’s block. She leaves the big city and moves into this absolutely-bloomin-adorable-utterly-georgeous cottage at her parents home. Hoping the peace and tranquility accompanied by the to-die-for views will help her get her mojo back. Ditching her laptop she opts for the traditional typewriter and promptly begins tapping away, creativity renewed.
(If only every problem was fixed as easily as a Hallmark problem!)

It was actually quite an insignificant scene in the context of the whole plot. Bree isn’t even the main character, but it’s the one scene that’s really stayed with me. Why? Because I’ve seen it before. Only the blonde girl in the picture was a brunette, the plant pot was a fluffy little dog and the red typewriter was an old MacBook. It’s a vision I’ve seen many times of myself in my own imagination and thoughts.

If Chesapeake Shores stirred my emotions, then last night’s conversation sent the pot bubbling over.
Sat enjoying food and wine with my parents and friends, my writing got brought up into conversation. “I miss your stories.” “Why don’t you write anymore?”“Why did you stop?”

My answer… I couldn’t answer, because I didn’t know.

So this morning while eating my muesli, drinking my coffee, brushing my teeth and walking my Stanley, I’ve been contemplating that question.

Fear. That’s the answer.

How did I let this happen? When did I ever let fear stop me doing anything?
Fear that I would write something that flopped. That didn’t make people happy, make them think, make them laugh. Fear that I’d never actually post a real blog, just PDFs that I share with friends and family. Fear that I’d run out of topics, that I’d loose my writing style… that I’d get writer’s block.

Some life goals, I know I will never achieve. I will never be a mermaid. I will never fly. I will never see a real life unicorn (although I’ll never give up looking!)

But am I really ready to say that this life goal hasn’t been achieved? Well Im not dead yet so no! It’s doable! It’s just going to take a bit of courage and a lot more faith in myself.

I’ve been writing a PDF-emailed-blog on and off for two years. I started Jenny’s Journal in 2015 which was mainly single-woman-girl-power infused writing. In 2016 I changed to Journal de Jenny when I moved to France and my topics naturally became about a new life in a new country, embracing a new culture.

So what does 2017 bring?

DREAM BIG!

I know I’ll never be a highly paid author at book signings. I’ll never be a social media sensation lifestyle blogger. My writing is never going to put bread on the table (although it’s that cheap in France, it might do!) And I’ll never EVER have a Twitter account!! (I once tried Twitter for 24 hours. #Never again.)

So my goal? To venture out into cyber space, find a little corner in that vast technological universe to claim as my own, stick a flag in it and set up camp blog there. To publish my words on the web and never stop believing that one day I might have the opportunity to write freelance.

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